SAN ANTONIO — *Trigger warning: details of this story are graphic.*
For the first time, a San Antonio mother who survived a deadly domestic violence attack is opening to KENS 5.
Mariah Gardner hopes her story will save others from suffering a similar fate.
On April 10, police say Stephen Clare shot his ex-wife near her Alamo Heights home and stabbed their two daughters. 11-month-old Willow Clare died from her injuries.
“He wanted to continue the relationship, I did not,” said Gardner. “He was still trying to win me back. That morning, he dropped off flowers and a card. It basically said, ‘I still love you, let this day start our second chance.’ I said, 'I really appreciate it,' but gently told him no.”
Gardner says Clare never hit her ... until he tried to kill her.
“The doorbell rings, so I answered,” she said. “It was him. He regularly just stopped by, it kind of goes back to that whole stalking thin. Sometimes he would drive by my house 15 to 20 times a day. I just let him in, I thought he was coming to visit the girls. I gave him open access to the kids, that’s why he lived two minutes down the road. I was on my knees putting books back on the shelf, and I could feel a presence next to me. I looked up, and it’s him staring at me. At that point, he already had the gun in my face.”
Gardner says Clare was expressionless, and his next words now haunt her.
“He said, ‘You’re not going to make it this time’,” said Gardner. “He said he was going to kill me and all of my kids.”
Gardner says she pleaded, she tried to stall, she physically fought Clare, and she screamed for help.
According to Gardner, Clare emptied the gun’s chamber on her. Five bullets struck her body, Gardner says.
“He fires again, and again, and again,” Gardner said. “My oldest son tried to jump on his back to save me and I screamed at him to run and call 911. Then I got shot in the face. There was no pain that I have ever felt like when he shot me in the cheek. I stumbled outside. I saw my 8-year-old hanging out of a window, and I waved him on. He was the only one of my children that I saw. I got to the sidewalk so the police would see me. I put my forehead to the concrete because I couldn't hold myself up, and accepted the fact I was going to die. But I needed to stay alive long enough to tell [officers] my kids were inside the house.”
Gardner says her two boys were able to escape through windows before Clare kicked the doors in. However, her two daughters were stabbed.
The same day Willow took her first steps, just two days before her first birthday, her life stopped before it started.
“The moment I woke up in the hospital and realized that I survived, I just immediately knew I had a story to tell,” Gardner said.
She’s been sharing her story on social media.
“If I can take this and impact other people’s lives, and save them in a way that I wish I could go back and save myself, then I can’t think of anything that will be more healing,” Gardner said.
Gardner is warning the public that signs of abuse don’t always involve physical violence. She says Clare was manipulative and financially controlling. Gardner says he also attempted to isolate her from loved ones.
“If I could go back and tell myself anything, it would be that love should not hurt,” said Gardner. “If you inherently feel like, ‘Maybe this isn’t right,’ just listen to yourself. Leave safely. Find a safe phone or computer, look up local resources and make a plan. Find a place they won’t find you, far away.”
Clare has remained in jail since the attack. The Bexar County District Attorney’s Office told KENS 5 it’s too early to determine if the state will seek the death penalty.
On Wednesday, Clare made his first court appearance since being indicted.
Gardner was in the courtroom, but unable to address Clare at this stage in the proceedings.
So, she wrote the following open letter:
“Did you see me crying? Could you hear my screams? You left me there dying; I was down on my knees. I begged you to stop; I needed to breathe. My body was tired, you continued to hunt me. Blow after blow; I took to the face. Your knees to my body, you were up for the chase. I tried to run, I pleaded for help. You wanted me dead, I wanted to melt. My kids were inside; I needed them safe. I took you on; you gave me a race. As afraid as I was, I looked in your eyes. I wouldn’t give up, I was tired of your lies. You continued to strike; the last bullet my demise. The wolf got the lamb, but the children were fine. When the lamb left the house wounded from all sides, the wolf found the children; they were hiding inside. With intent and great focus, he laid them both down. He knew at this point, there was no turning around. Like a wolf gets their prey, he attacks with great force. They were turned inside out, but he held no remorse. He left them for dead, and he walked to his car. I wonder if he considered that he took it too far? Did he think they were dead? Did their screams make him cry? He went home, washed the blood, and didn’t even hide. He sat down; and carried on like a predator does. He captured his prey; he was high from the buzz. His itch was then scratched; he had won the great race. But that wolf didn’t know that the prey that he chased … she would rise, she would climb, she would wait for her time. Because she wasn’t a lamb, but a lioness with sharp eyes. Once she rested and healed, she began her pursuit. That wolf would one day meet his death on her tooth. He will pay for his crime; if it costs her her life. One thing you don’t do is hunt a lioness and her pride.”
If you or someone you love is in an abusive relationship, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
For a list of Bexar County resources, click HERE.