Gary S. Whitford was an extraordinary writer, musician, and community activist.
When his heart began to fail, he made his end-of-life wishes very clear. The quirky, creative spirit who always referred to himself in the third person as “The Gary” wanted his death to be like his life: simple, thoughtful, and creative.
So after he slipped out of this life last week, his family and friends honored The Gary’s wishes with an all-natural green burial on Thursday at Countryside Memorial Park near La Vernia in Wilson County.
The natural cemetery is 25 miles east of downtown San Antonio, but a world away from the hustle and bustle of the city. At the park, bodies are buried naturally, without embalming or chemicals. There are no burial vaults or metal caskets. The remains can be lovingly shrouded in fabric or placed in a simple cardboard box. The graves are not as deep as traditional burials, so that microbe action can speed the process of the body’s return to earth.
“When beloveds are buried here, people are always saying, ‘This feels like home to us,’” said Sunny Markham who helps manage the park. “People always want a place in the country, and here they have it.”
Markham added that the park is especially beautiful in the spring when it is awash in wildflowers.
“We have quite a few artists here and musicians and painters. Very special people are drawn here and many people appreciate it,” he noted. “When someone has a natural funeral like this, they can bring their own music. They can plant a tree on the grave or they can just spread wildflowers everywhere because it's just all about love.”
“A natural and green burial can save a family almost two-thirds of a traditional service and almost every funeral home already offers it, they just don't know it,” Funeral Director Joshua Garza said.
Garza explained that Texas law requires funeral homes to offer a simple alternative.
“You just need to look at their general price list and look at the page that talks about ‘immediate burial.’ It is required by law that every funeral home have that on their price list and they list it as immediate burial,” Garza said.
“When we go down, we become more of the earth and we should feed the earth. That’s the way it should be in our culture,” Markham said.
Both Garza and Markham say that Countryside Memorial Park is the only all-natural park in the area.
Wrapped against the affront of a nagging, frigid drizzle, fans of The Gary celebrated the legacy of a lover of people and adventure, sharing stories and laughter.
Celebrant Rudi Harst, who composed a song for the occasion, honored his long-time friend by singing, “His soul was too soft for a cold, hard world, so he did what he could to be kind, giving so freely, whatever he had, sharing his heart and his mind.”
With the sound of Taps fading into the soft gray countryside, they took turns writing messages of love and drawing pictures on the plain cardboard box that would go with their friend into the earth.
The messages were simple:
”From one artist to another, thanks so much for the corrections and encouragement,” shared space with lots of wobbly hearts.
Another message shouted in all caps “FAIR WELL PAL!” and “HOORAY GARY!”
The Miller family also chose Countryside for their son and brother Noah, who died at 32 after a valiant fight against cancer.
Noah’s father said that the entire family enjoys visiting the park.
"It brings back memories of when I was growing up in Iowa in the country," Larry Miller said.
Noah’s mother Irene said that as he grew weaker, Noah made his wishes clear.
"He wanted to be a tree, a pecan tree," Irene said.
She explained that after Noah was cremated, his ashes were placed under a pecan tree.
"It was so much nicer to plant a tree than to just put a body in a grave. There is something positive coming out of it," Irene said. "We got to actually dig the hole ourselves and it was just a very personal family process, so it was really neat."
“He would definitely love it,” Chris said. “He would definitely come and sit and listen to the wind.”
“It's good. It's just straight trees, grass, nature where you hear nothing but bugs, hear the sounds of the grass,” Brother Nathaniel Miller added.
Nathaniel said that he knows his brother is at peace.
“It's just quiet for once,” he said. “Seems like a good place to rest. And he would like that.”
For more information about Countryside Memorial Park, you can visit their official Facebook page here or visit their official website here.