SAN ANTONIO — Many of us have reached a tipping point when it comes to tips. People are feeling pressured to tip more and tip at more places. Here are tips on gratuities:
Tired of all the tipping? Etiquette experts are too.
“We’re just frustrated,” said Valerie Sokolosky, etiquette expert with Valerie and Company. “It’s in front of us with that screen all the time.”
Blame technology. Electronic card readers make it easy for businesses to ask for a tip and easier for you to leave one.
“It allows you to use a credit card when you don’t have cash,” said Diane Gottsman, national etiquette expert from The Protocol School of Texas. “There is pressure with a tipping app because we feel like everybody is watching us.”
The pressure builds as tips often start at 18% rather than the customary 15%. There are few hard and fast rules of tipping, but 15% is still standard.
“It’s fine,” Gottsman said. “Twenty percent is more the norm, but there’s not one size fits all. It has to be your comfort level.”
You do need to tip if you receive a service and always at a restaurant.
“You should never skip a tip if you have bad service,” Gottsman said. “Do not skip that tip. Talk to the general manager, but don’t just walk out without tipping and certainly don’t walk out without paying that bill.”
Look for the “custom tip” or “no tip” buttons when offered electronic options.
“Then I can decide, do I want to tip or not?” Sokolosky said. “Hopefully, yes, of course, but how much?”
“But it is always best to err on the side of generosity rather than to skip a tip or give somebody less than they deserve,” Gottsman said.
Never feel guilted into tipping a certain amount.
“I think it’s important to tip what you want to tip,” Gottsman said. “If you want to hit the custom tip and leave $1 or $2, that’s perfectly fine. If you want to hit the ‘no tip,’ that’s perfectly fine as well. I think it’s about being prepared, being comfortable with hitting ‘no tip,’ if that’s what you’re comfortable with. Again, it depends on the transaction.”
Then tip according to the service you received. Also, be conscious of tipping those who may not ask but provide you with good service.
“Your valet, your window washer, you cleaning person,” Sokolosky said. “I look at that and say those people are doing this. They are asking for a good wage for a good service and I’m going to tip those people sometimes more than I would others when it’s just a jar or screen turned to me.”
One last tip that is not optional: Be polite.
“Everybody’s struggling right now, whether it’s money or a job or loss of a job or trying to get a job or family issues,” Sokolosky said. “This is just a time of struggle for many, many people. So my advice is to show grace. Show grace to another human being. You never know where they are coming from.”
That includes always offering a thank you.
Here is Diane Gottsman’s general guidelines on tipping for 2023:
Restaurants & Bars
Waiters/Waitresses
Answer: A minimum of 15% to 20% is standard, and upwards for exceptional service.
Waiters/Waitresses During Breakfast or Lunch Buffets
Answer: Attendants who walk around and fill your water glass, retrieve an additional roll, utensil or clear your dishes should be accommodated with $1 to $2 dollars per diner.
Wine Stewards
Answer: If they help you choose a bottle or choose it for you, it’s appropriate to tip 10% to 20% of the wine bill only.
Cashier When Picking Up Take-Out
Answer: Tipping is not required and is to be left to your discretion. However, if the server has bagged your order, added extra utensils or carried it out to your car, a tip is a nice gesture. Anytime someone provides an exceptional level of service, you can’t go wrong by showing your appreciation with a couple of dollars.
A Bartender Who Serves Drinks
Answer: If running a tab, tip 15% to 20% of the bill, or $1 to $2 per drink. Dropping loose change in a jar when it amounts to a few cents is impolite.
A Bartender Who Serves Drinks Plus a Full Meal Which Brought to You at the Bar
Answer: Tip like a server—15% to 20% of the bill is appropriate. If the bar service is separate from the meal service, tip each server individually
Drivers
Taxi Cab Drivers
Answer: A minimum of 15% is average. 20% and above for a driver that assists you with your heavy luggage and doesn’t scare the daylights out of you taking tight corners and weaving in and out of traffic en route to your hotel or destination.
Limo/Town Car Drivers
Answer: Some car companies include gratuity into their bill, however, if you receive good service and want to leave a favorable impression for the return flight home, feel free to leave an additional tip. If gratuity is not included, tip 15% – 20% of fare.
Uber and Lyft Drivers
Answer: Select a preset amount or customize your tip. Similar to a taxi driver, 15% to 20% is standard. Both Uber and Lyft drivers greatly appreciate gratuity, as well as a positive rating. Don’t forget that drivers rate riders, as well.
Delivery
Curbside Grocery Store
Answer: Check the grocer’s website before you shop when it comes to determining whether or not the deliverer can be tipped. $3-5 upwards depending on the order when allowed.
Restaurant Delivery Drivers
Answer: Tip your delivery driver 20 percent of the total bill or $5, whichever is higher. If you receive bad service – an extremely late order, the wrong items or cold food – tip less and calmly mention your complaint to the driver or the restaurant manager, but don’t neglect the tip altogether.
Third-Party Delivery Drivers (Uber Eats, Favor, Postmates, Door Dash)
Answer: Always check the website. Tipping may or may not be required, depending on the service you are using. Unlike restaurant delivery drivers, some third-party delivery drivers do pocket a portion of the service fee and in some cases, are even guaranteed a specific amount that they will receive when they are offered a delivery. However, like in a restaurant, tipping should be considered a mandatory part of any meal, especially one that is brought to your doorstep. And the service apps make it simple to add on gratuity even after you’ve enjoyed your meal.
Hotels
Hotel Concierge
Answer: For quick directions to the nearest coffee shop, no tip is required. However, for acquiring easy theatre tickets or dinner reservations, tip $5 to $10, and $20 upwards for difficult-to-secure tickets, reservations or special services.
Hotel Housekeeping
Answer: A common mistake is to tip housekeepers at the end of the visit. It’s important to tip daily as employees change from one day to another, $3 to $5 per day. A good rule of thumb is $1 per person staying in the room if there are multiple people.
Hotel Luggage Attendants
Answer: Generally, $1 to $2 per bag, but if you only have one or two bags, make it worth the bellman’s trip and offer him $5.
Hotel Room Service
Answer: Check the bill first to see if gratuity has already been added. If it has not been included, tip 15% to 20% of the bill. It is not necessary to leave an additional tip for tray pick-up.
The Valet
Answer: $2 to $5 dollars when they bring your car up to the curb.
Doorman Who Hails a Cab
Answer: $2 to $5 for help with hailing a taxi, offering an umbrella, helping you with your bags, etc. (rule of thumb: if they “touch” it – bags, luggage, extra pillows, etc - you tip them)
Miscellaneous Services
Massage Therapist, Manicurist, Esthetician
Answer: Check the tipping policy, as some spas do not allow gratuity, or it may already be included in the bill. If not, tip 15% to 20% of service. This remains the same even if the service provider is the owner of the salon or spa.
Pet Groomer/Pet Boarder
Answer: To clean and shine your favorite pooch before dropping off at your mother in law’s home, tip anywhere from 10% to 20% of the service, depending on the relationship you have with your groomer. Generally, a kennel employee does not expect a tip at the end of your pet’s stay. However, if they have kept your pooch happy, safe and well cared for, a souvenir or nice bottle of wine may be in order.
Restroom Attendant
Answer: Some people may have never seen a person assisting in the restroom until they travel to larger cities and may be confused as to what to do or say. Greet the attendant with a smile and a cheerful “hello” and leave $1 to $2, depending on the service provided. (fresh towel, clean sink, hair spray, mouthwash, etc.)